I have this fear that 2021 will be worse than 2020. Everyone is holding on to hope for the next year even though we’re only halfway through 2020. Until today when I had an idea; what if the next year is going to be worse than this year and it kept getting progressively worse until some magical thing cures/stops it. The earth, one year at a time, progresses into a living Biblical hell. What if the Mayans had a dyslexic moment and they didn’t mean 2012… they meant 2021?!
I’m going to stop letting my fears run wild through the plains of my imagination for a moment and try to come back to the here and now. Besides the 110,000+ acre fire in my backyard and the global pandemic that we don’t have a cure for and everything, I’m blessed. I live in a comfortable home with people who love me, I have money for food, and my husband kicks ass. My daughter is a resilience-master and I’m free to live. I’m not going to stuff down and ignore my fears because they have a purpose, but taking a moment to feel grateful can do a lot of good. Also, the fire is currently 77% contained and they’re getting closer and closer to 100%!
I am still trying to design my book cover using the Canva app. I’m appreciating the designs, but they aren’t hitting the “THAT’S IT!” reaction I’m looking for in my gut. While trying to create the right book cover on Canva, I’ve been also looking out for book cover designers. Fiverr makes me nervous because of the many warnings I’ve received from other authors regarding book cover artists. I DID find a great artist that I’d love to have design my book cover but she costs $500 for one cover and I cannot afford that right now. So… I’ll keep searching.
In my search I found some graphic designers on Instagram that intrigue me but something in my gut is feeling iffy. Also, at night I find myself waking up thinking of all the things I have yet to get done with my book. The process hasn’t moved the way I had imagined it would, which makes sense… this IS my first time ever writing a novel and this isn’t the most stable environment.
My writing experience in the past is mostly centered on writing commissioned research papers, blog articles, and recap news articles. For people who know writing, that type of writing is drastically different from the style used in any novel. Getting my brain to switch over has been a bit of a struggle. I must remind myself to describe more than tell, and avoid using that monotone instructional type of sentence structure.
My beta readers have responded positively to the first draft though, and gives me a great deal of hope. They enjoyed reading it and felt compelled to keep turning the page to learn what was next. That’s the exact type of response any writer wants from their readers and I feel blessed to have received it. There were a few spots in the story that needed work because it was either unbelievable or they felt the intensity and dramatization could have been dragged on a bit longer. So, I’m going to outline for myself what stuff needs work, go back through and work on it… and I HOPE that during that process I’ll either finalize on a Canva cover or find an artist that meets my needs.
I found out recently that Canva is Filipina owned; did you know that? I love supporting a fellow Filipina and purchasing the app subscription made me feel better. I carry a great deal of pride in the women that share my racial heritage… and representation means everything. We’re often underrepresented and our Indigenous roots are being smothered by political powers… anything I can do to contribute positively towards the Filipino people and its pre-colonial roots brings me pride.